What Kids Actually Want When They Push Back
Kids live in a world that wasn't built for them. They navigate rules, schedules, and expectations set by people bigger than they are. Their emotions are often policed, their bodies are often directed, and their choices are often narrowed down to options an adult already pre-approved. That's a lot of structural disempowerment happening day after day.
At the same time, their brains are doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing: developing new autonomy, testing new independence, and figuring out how to take on more of an active role in their own life. When that developmental need runs into a system designed to control them, what comes out can look like defiance, manipulation, or an obsession with being in charge.
But most of the time, kids aren't trying to have power over anyone else. They're trying to have power over themselves, which is exactly what developing humans are wired to do.
Why Kids' Bids for Autonomy Get Misread
How an adult reads a child's behavior in a given moment says a lot about what's going on for the adult. How tired they are, what they were taught as kids, whether they feel safe themselves, how much capacity they have left in their day. All of that shapes whether a kid's pushback registers as a normal developmental moment or as a threat that needs to be squashed.
When the response is to squash it, kids learn. Some learn to stay small and compliant to keep connection with the adults they depend on for survival. Others learn to fight for their autonomy with everything they have, because giving it up feels like losing themselves. Neither pattern is a character flaw. Both are adaptations to being controlled.
This course gives you a clearer lens for what's actually happening when a child pushes back, so you can move past the reflex to control and start sharing power in ways that actually meet the need.
Big Talks, Little Talks
Understanding How Kids Think, Feel, and Behave — One Talk at a Time
Kids Don't Want Your Power. They Want Their Own. is one of eight modules in Big Talks, Little Talks, a video course series by Kelsie Mick Olds covering key topics in neurodiversity and child development. Modules can be purchased individually or as a complete bundle.
Every module in the series includes two videos:
The professional development component. Kelsie walks through the topic in depth, giving you the knowledge and language to understand what's happening and how to respond. Big Talks run approximately one hour and qualify for continuing education credit.
A kid-friendly video that gives children accessible language to understand what's going on in their own bodies and brains. You can show it directly to a child, break it into shorter chunks across multiple sessions, or watch it yourself to pick up language you can use in your own conversations.
Who Is This Course For?
This course is designed for therapists, parents, caregivers, educators, early childhood educators, and anyone who works with or lives with children whose pushback, negotiation, or need for control has started to feel like a problem to solve.
Whether you're trying to understand a specific child, examining your own reactions to kids' bids for autonomy, or looking for concrete strategies for sharing power without losing the plot, this course gives you a grounded, compassionate starting point.