Non-Compliance is Information: Collaborative & Proactive Solutions to Help Kids Meet Expectations

"Non-compliance is good." It's a statement that might surprise parents and educators who have spent years trying to get kids to listen. But as Dr. Ross Greene explains, non-compliance is actually information - a signal that a child is having difficulty meeting an expectation. The question is whether we're curious enough to find out why.

In this conversation, Dr. Greene discusses the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, built on the foundational belief that kids do well if they can. He explains why traditional approaches that prioritize compliance often backfire, leading to frustration responses that are far more inconvenient than the original problem. When we insist harder on expectations a child is already struggling to meet, we miss the chance to understand them - and we damage the relationship in the process.

Dr. Greene walks through the key elements of CPS: identifying unsolved problems (expectations kids have difficulty meeting), understanding that these problems are usually old and predictable, and solving them proactively and collaboratively rather than in the heat of the moment. He also shares recent updates to the Assessment of Skills and Unsolved Problems (ASUP), including the removal of the word "lagging" and the addition of skills more reflective of neurodivergent experiences - changes made in direct response to feedback from the neurodivergent community. For anyone who has ever wondered how to help a struggling child without resorting to punishment, rewards, or power struggles, this session offers a different path forward.