Riding the Waves: Building Lifelong Sensory and Emotional Regulation Skills

When schools talk about regulation, there's often an unspoken expectation that children should simply self-regulate on command. But as Tracey DeMaria points out, calm waters are rare, and waiting for them before teaching is waiting too long. In this conversation between two OTs who've been in the trenches together for over 25 years, Tracey introduces her How to Surf the Waves curriculum—a framework that uses surfing metaphors to help children understand their nervous systems without shame or pathology.

Tracey explains why separating sensory regulation from emotional regulation misses the point. Her tics get worse under emotional stress. Her body sensations change when her emotions shift. For neurodiverse individuals, there is no clean line between the two. Through the curriculum's framework—waves that represent normal fluctuations in regulation, surfboards as personalized tools, sharks as predictable and surprise triggers, and lifeguards as the co-regulating adults every child needs—Tracey offers language that works for kids from preschool through high school. She shares why asking "what's wrong with you?" should shift to "you're having a wave," and why preparation and prediction matter more than punishment when tsunamis hit.

This session challenges the PBIS systems and Skinnerian approaches that dominate schools today, while acknowledging the real pressures teachers face with 25+ students and limited support. Tracey discusses how OTs can push into classrooms, advocate for their role in mental health conversations, and build genuine partnerships with educators—starting with the teachers who actually want the help. For anyone working in schools, this conversation offers both validation and practical pathways for creating cultures of belonging where regulation is taught, not demanded.